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Helicopter Parenting And How To Overcome That?

Abstract

The most selfless form of love is parental love. There is no doubt that parents always love their child selflessly and try to give their best. Almost every parent tries to provide the best life for their child. It is a dream of every parent to give their child a childhood that is far better than their own. But even a medicine when given in an excessive dose will act as poison. Similarly, even love can feel suffocating when showered in an uncontrolled manner. So, there is a term trending these days regarding the same scenario, known as helicopter parenting. What is helicopter parenting? How can one recognise the features of helicopter parenting? How to deal with this situation? How can ayurveda help in this scenario? Let us learn the answers to all these questions through the following article.

Helicopter Parenting

Introduction

The term helicopter parenting is a metaphor, as the child often complains that his/her parents keep hovering on his/her head. The helicopter parenting is a term used for parents who are overly concerned for the child. The parents may act overly protective for the child. This kind of parenting style constitutes the parent being overly focussed on the child and taking responsibility for the child’s success and failures. For instance, when a child is admitted to a hostel, calling every morning to wake him up, checking on his grades regularly or managing the daily routine, etc. This behavior in excess can hinder the child’s normal development, growth and social skills also. Why would a parent do bad to his child? Although the intentions of the parents are good, love and care in excess may lead to various undesirable effects. There can be various reasons behind this type of behavior, which will be discussed as follows.

Causes Of Helicopter Parenting

There can be a variety of causes or reasons, for a parent to act overly possessive or behind the helicopter parenting style, few of them are discussed as follows -

  1. The fear of failures - The parent might want to save the child from failure and the resulting unhappiness. For instance, the parent might be afraid of their child getting rejected in the sports team, etc. and feel that they could do more for the child.
  2. Anxiety issues - Excessive worry regarding the changing world and child’s growth may result in the parent’s over protective nature. The parent might believe that they can keep the child away from being disappointed.
  3. Overcompensation - Individuals that were love deprived during their childhood days try to overcompensate with their child. They try to make sure their child never feels unloved by being overly attentive and monitoring the child’s life.
  4. Extreme pressure from surroundings - When the other parents are overprotective, the parent may feel a pressure to overly care for their child too in fear of not being enough for the child.

Effects Of Helicopter Parenting

When the child is under constant supervision and excessive monitoring, it may lead to a variety of negative effects on the child’s development also. The experience of failure, rejection, etc. teaches a lot to the child but when these kinds of experiences are restricted, he may not be able to deal with failures in future. Thus leading to a feeling of lower self esteem or fear of failures as adults. There are numerous negative effects of helicopter parenting, few of them are described as follows -

  1. Lack of confidence and self esteem - As the main problem in helicopter parenting is the parents try to always help the child, no matter how easily accomplished the task is. This somehow sends a message that my parents do not find me capable of coping with this on my own. Hence, leads to reduced confidence.
  2. Increased levels of anxiety - Research shows that over parenting is linked with raised levels of anxiety in children.
  3. Lacking basic life skills - The child may lack skills like packing lunches, washing clothes, etc.
  4. Spoon feeding - The child might get in a habit of everything being adjusted and managed by the parents and stops putting in efforts to improve himself.

So, these are a few of the numerous negative effects of helicopter parenting that a child might face as he grows up. Ow, after knowing the whole scenario, no parent would be willingly caring for the child. But, if you feel that you have been one such parent, how to deal with it through ayurveda? Let us get the answer as follows.

Ayurveda For Dealing With Helicopter Parenting

After learning about the undesirable effects of helicopter parenting, no parent would want to be one. Habits don’t change overnight. It will take time for the parent to improve himself. But ayurveda can help to a great extent. As the major cause behind this behavior is anxiety or excessive stress, ayurvedic herbs that relax the mind prove to be very beneficial. There are a variety of herbs mentioned in the ayurvedic texts that are very nutritious for the mind such as Brahmi (Bacopa monnieri), Ashwagandha (Withania somnifera), Mandukaparni (Centella asiatica), etc. Herbs that improve health such as Arjuna (Terminalia arjuna) that have rich antioxidant properties and also help to manage stress are also useful. The use of such ayurvedic herbs will help to reduce the stress and anxiety levels, and thus help to deal with the parenting style effectively. Along with the thought of improving yourself, the use of the effective ayurvedic herbs will definitely present better results.

Conclusion

In a nutshell, it can be concluded that improvement begins with the right information. After learning about the whole parenting style labeled as helicopter parenting, a parent must be able to access his/her own behavior. If you somehow feel you are being unknowingly harmful for the child’s future, it’s never too late to improve oneself. One must make up his/ her mind to correct his/ her mistakes and not repeat them in future. For this, the ayurvedic herbs can be of great use and can be included, for better management of your mental health as well.

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Reviewed By:

Best Ayurvedic Doctor in Mohali - Dr. Vikram Chauhan

Dr. Vikram Chauhan

MD (AYURVEDA)

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